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A woodshop teacher asks the only girl in the class what the difference is between a nail, a screw, and a bolt on the first day of school and she says “Well

Student comes home from first semester of college and his father asks him how he likes school.

Student says ” I don’t know

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher
picked him to answer a question, “Johnny

Animal Quiz

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She
holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone
knows what it is. No one raises their hand.

The teacher says “See its long neck? What animal has a
long neck?”" Sally holds up her hand and asks

One day a boy named Jonny was learnig out to add. When he got home from school, he started to do his homework. So he said out loud,” 2+2

A guy just came from Turkey and got a job as an apple seller at an apple farm. He didn’t know any English so he just stood behind the counter and got paid. On the third day his first costomer came in. “How much are your apples”" not knowing what to say he said Turkey. “”$.25″” said the manager. When the costomer bought the apple he gave a complaint to the manager. “”Just repeat what I say and you’ll do fine. But only do what I say.”" the manager said in Turkish.
The second costomer came in and asked “”How much are the apples”" “”25 cents”" he replied. “”Are they fresh”" the costomer asked. “”Turkey”" He replied. The manager passed by and said “”Fresh real fresh”" The third costomer came in and asked “”How much are your apples”" “”25 cents”" “”Are they fresh?”" “”Fresh real fresh.”" “”Should I buy one?”" “”Turkey”" he replied. “”Yes

bill works in a pickle factory,
he had been employed there for several years
till one day he came home and confessed to his
wife that he had a terrible compunction.
he had an urge to stick his penis into the
pickle slicer. his wife recommended he see a
sex theripist but bill indicated he would be to embarrassed. he vowed to overcome the urge on his own. one day a few weeks later, bill came home, his wife could see that somthing terrible had happend.
“my god bill what happened”" she said
“”do you remember when i told you i had an urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?”"
“”oh no bill you didn’t!”" she replied
“”yes i did”" he said.
“”well my god bill what happend?”" she asked him
“”i got fired”" he said. she paused for a moment
“”no bill i mean what happened with the pickle slicer?”"
“”oh

One day at school a teacher asked her 1rst grade class to use the word “Definetly”" in a sentence. Little Susie raised her hand and said: “”The grass is definetly green!”" The teacher smiled and said: “”I’m sorry Little Susie

Why Are NewYorkers Always so depressed?
Becuase The Light At the End Of The Tunnel Is New Jersey!!!!!

It was graduation day at UNC, and the professors were giving out the degrees. The crowd started chanting Bubba, Bubba, Bubba!
The president of the University asked, “Who’s Bubba?”

“Bubba is a guy who’s been at the University for twenty years, and hasn’t graduated.

The professor called Bubba up and told him that if he can answer one question, he would graduate. He asked him, “What is 4+4?”

“8,” Bubba said.

“Boo!” the crowd roared. “Give him another chance, give him another chance!”